Starting a new relationship
You may have felt butterflies when you start a new romantic relationship because you love the person you are with so much that you don’t want it to end badly. You are not alone. Andrea Syrtash, dating and relationship expert, says that a new relationship is a time of discovery, not only about our partners but also about ourselves, our wants, needs, and desires. Carmelia Ray, a celebrity matchmaker, agrees with the idea that the “honeymoon phase” is a significant period of your life. She explains that this is a special period to create memories with your partner and one where couples often feel like they are in love. The new relationship anxiety you feel, and the jitters can take away from the excitement of your new relationship and create unnecessary pressure.
We asked the experts for their best relationship advice to help you enjoy your time getting to know one another (and less stress) and not accidentally ruin it. Syrtash said, ” long-term relationships require work, but dating should not feel like that.”
Here are nine things you should keep in mind as you begin a relationship with a new partner.
Keep the Past in The Past
Ray says that a common mistake made by people when dating someone is to bring their worries, fears, and negative past relationship experiences into their current relationship. In her 26 years of dating singles, Ray has heard from many that they don’t want to know about the past relationships their dates had. Keep your conversations and thoughts focused on the person that you are currently dating, and get to know them.
Avoid asking your date questions about their past. Instead of scripted questions, aim for a conversational dialogue that is engaging and flows naturally.
Do not compare the two.
Ray advises that it’s very easy to compare your relationship with another partner or other relationships. This will only upset your current partner and do no good. Ask yourself: Are you competing with another person in this relationship? You are in this relationship because you want to impress others. Are you in this relationship because you love the person you’re dating, or are you trying to impress other people?
Take Actions Instead of Words
Syrtash says, “It does not matter if someone talks about going on vacation next year if they are unavailable right now.” It would be best if you did not believe everything a person says but rather looked at their actions. She says that if your partner introduces you to their family and friends, the chances are they see you as a long-term part of their lives.
Be Vulnerable, Even If You’re Afraid
Ray admits that the idea of being vulnerable can be frightening for many people. She believes that you can show your true self even if it means being hurt. This can help you build trust and a deeper connection with someone new. She explains that “vulnerability is a gift for the person who wants to get to know you better.”
Share a story that shows your vulnerability without making you feel overwhelmed. This may seem overly simple, but it is a great way to build a connection.
Do not embellish the truth or brag.
Ray says that bragging can be a turn-off to both men and women. It’s not necessary for you to constantly impress your partner. Especially if they like you, you can still be proud of yourself without listing your entire life’s achievements.
Stay in the Moment
Remember that being in a relationship is an exciting time, full of curiosity and discovery (and there will be a lot to learn at once). Syrtash says that to relieve pressure, you should remind yourself to be present and open. This also applies to being honest with yourself and following your gut instinct. If someone appears perfect on paper but ends up not being the person you are looking for, it doesn’t really matter.
Refrain from Neediness
Ray says that a little envy is healthy and cute. Making demands on your partner’s time or preventing them from doing the things they did before you began dating is a big red flag. Matchmaker: It’s normal for newly dating couples to spend more time together and less time with their friends and families. Avoid texting or calling your S.O. constantly. You’ll only stress them out, and they may even peddle back.
Do not give up time with family or friends.
Ray says it is common for couples in a new relationship to cancel some of their normal activities or to ask their friends to do so. Ray says that attraction can also be created by anticipating seeing your partner and creating distance. When you drop everything for your new partner, it can set an expectation that previous commitments will be put on the back burner. As you moderately adjust your schedule, keep yourself busy while honoring your obligations to friends.
Listen and Stay Curious
Ray says that listening is a skill, and it’s a tool for communication most people are not very good at. Your partner will feel heard and appreciated when you pay them your full attention. You can make your partner feel special and unique by showing interest in who they are, what they do, and where they live.